alltheright.choices

OK kids, raise your hand if you have an email account that is formatted firstname.lastname@gmail.com

Everyone, right?
Oh how I've ached for a normal email address, one that could even be considered "professional". Gone away are the days of "moechabean@hotmail.com" or "razzledazzle@email.com" (I don't want to talk about that last one, but it really did exist at one point, very close to the birth of email) - you can't have such an email address and be taken seriously. The story behind moebe97 or moebe79 is too long--and too boring--to tell, but be assured that they exist only because monica.navarro was not available. My sadness was only momentary, however, as the advent of Gmail came along shortly. Ahhh... by invitation only! If I can just get myself an invitation, I can sneak right in and snatch up that (apparently) coveted monica.navarro@gmail.com!
Friends, there are a lot of Monica Navarros out there. Do you know any others? I don't even know any other Monicas, let alone Monica Navarros. So alas, while I continue to discover more and more people who have the email address firstname.lastname@gmail.com (I don't think I've ever even seen any other type of gmail address... except for my own), I am just that much more saddened by my lack thereof. So, I've decided to take some action (in the form of an email).

To: monica.navarro@gmail.com
Fr: mycrappyemail@gmail.com (ugh)
Subject: coveted email

Dear Monica,

You don't know me, but we do have at least one thing in common: our name. I think it's a great name, don't get me wrong, but in sharing this name I do face a bit of a tragedy. You see, I've never been able to snag a monica.navarro email address. Perhaps you've always gotten there first (who could know?), but I've always seemed to just miss the boat.

I was ecstatic to open up a gmail account, while gmail was still relatively new, so that I could FINALLY have the email address I've always wanted! You can imagine my disappointment when I found that not only was monica.navarro taken, but so was every single reasonable variation thereof!
So I'm wondering this: would it be possible at all for me to purchase this email address from you? I don't know what it would take for me to get it, but I have a number of things that may or may not be of value to you. Money is one thing I do not have much of. I could probably throw you a few bucks, but I could definitely tack on some extras. I have a bottle of Grey Goose vodka that has yet to be opened. I also have a pair of brand new jeans from the GAP that have never been worn, but I was planning on getting rid of on eBay (they're in perfect condition and perfectly fine, I just didn't particularly care for them). I have two certificates for free ringtones that can be redeemed online -- in no time at all you could be rocking the casbah every time your phone rings (if you fancy the Clash, that is). Also, what size shoe do you wear? And do you like metallic gold?

I know this may seem silly to you, but I figured it's worth a shot. More than anything, I'd be interested to know what exactly it would take for you to sell me your email address. Although, well, I must say that if I had gotten to it first it would take a whole hell of a lot for me to let it go.

Cheers,
Monica.Navarro


Let's see if she bites, yes?