And I've spent all this time not thinking about tomorrow, not thinking at all about the polls, or the news reports, or the negative campaigning, or the online political blogs, or the direct mail pieces, or... well, anything really. I haven't paid attention to a damn thing. I've completely removed myself from election day, or this campaign, or my candidate so that I would not feel the anxiety that I'm feeling right now.
I've done my work.
I've filed my legal reports.
I've talked to the powers that be and have completely ignored my pending doom.
I've been working for two years on this damned campaign. If we don't win, I really am at a loss. I can handle not winning in November more than I can handle not winning this nomination.
So amidst all my worry and angst today, I have found moments of complete joy and comfort. The sound of the pounding rain on the roof of my office. It seems so stupid. It seems as though I'm making an effort to be poetic. Poetic I am not. I'm also not deaf. That sound... it washes away positively everything. It's quite extraordinary.
I'm sitting here at my desk now preparing my last legal report (to be delivered to Trenton tomorrow by 12 noon) and I"m drinking a Blue Moon Belgian Ale. They say that drinking on the job is the true sign of an alcoholic... I'm in deep trouble. I don't think I've ever worked anywhere where we didn't all drink on the job.
Tomorrow I could shed a tear or drink a toast. Hopefully I'll be doing both, but all in good spirits.
Remember to vote (if you give a damn).
And I did have a moment of zen today... it was pretty terrific too:
I love volunteers who bring in pets with them. His name is Murphy, and today he is nearly all that thrills my soul (besides Jesus, of course).
| Currently listening : |
By Snow Patrol
Release date: By 30 March, 2004