Children are such gifts from God. A child's laugh, or smile, or slightly off-key rendition of "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star", or their ear-piercing screams at 3 o'clock in the morning that last until 4:45, or their projectile bowel movements that necessitate bed changes every other day (your bed, not theirs)...
I feel so incredibly selfish and horrible right now. I'm an awful Aunt. I have a... well, she's beautiful in her own way (babies come along after awhile), niece who is healthy even though most of the time, with her constant grunting and groaning sounds like she is not. She has ten fingers and ten toes, she can finally hold her head up straight, and her baby acne is coming in full bloom.
Why can't I help but feel like a horrible person for being irritated every time she defecates on my bed?
Good heavens, I'm building this to sound as though the child wears no diaper, but I assure you that the contrary is quite the truth. Her mother has not yet been properly trained in the method of drop-cloth diaper changing.
My home has been over-taken by nap time, feeding time, bath time, and bed time. I have a new alarm clock: my two year-old nephew (The famed Cheech Meister) who faithfully drags me from the depths of sleep every morning by climbing on my stomach and yelling "Monkey! Monkey! Wake up!" -- Sometimes he supplements this by counting to ten in Spanish or by asking to watch the Curious George movie trailer on Quicktime. He's my hero.
Somehow, over the course of the past 6 or 7 months, I have become the most selfish and narcissistic person that I know. The trouble is, I'm torn between feeling really enamored and feeling really disappointed. What a dilemma! Finally, the chance to be completely self-absorbed! The chance to up my potential wit at least 65% (it's a well known fact that the funniest people on earth are all supreme narcissists)! Finally, finally, finally... and I feel so guilty that I can't even crack a smile, let alone an admirable joke.
This is a really shitty web log.
I defy myself. Really.
I would move on to more interesting subject matter, but this is all I've got these days: screaming, pooping infants; moody two year-olds, four over-hyper and loud, barking dogs; a cat that likes to spill kitty litter all over creation and lick my toes while I use the toilet, and a wing of the estate that's under construction... I've got nothing else.
No wonder I'm self-centered, there's far too much else to focus on. It would be way too difficult and probably take too much time. But hey, isn't that what narcissism is all about?
You know, this isn't half bad actually.
I don't care if you're the center of your universe as long as I get to be the center of mine as well.
| Currently listening : |
The Trial of the Century
By The French Kicks
Release date: By 04 May, 2004