Monday, July 19, 2004

the leprous monkey butt

So my ear lobes (is that one word? Not sure) have been itching rather consistently for the past 24 hours. I have a neat little line of red bumps going up the back of my arm and my left ankle. My back is covered with them. My lips even itch this morning and it's driving me mad out of my skull. These allergy pills are not helping all that much.

I have leprosy. I'm sure of it. Stand clear my friend lest you yourself be infected.
Imagine if my ear fell off completely? I wouldn't be able to wear glasses ever again unless I have the ear surgically re-attached. Which would really be ridiculous. Why would I re-attach a leprous ear? It would look gross. It would look like I had my ear pierced numerous times. I don't even wear earrings. And if I had a leprous ear, I certainly wouldn't be able to wear dangly earrings or heavy earrings (should some event require such decoration). Forget it. I would never have the ear re-attached, hence I would never be able to wear glasses again. Pity. Sometimes I feel like rockin' the specs.

I'm not a hypochondriac, seriously. I do always think I have something (leprosy and appendicitis are both popular), but I don't necessarily care that I have it. Dig?
I think hypochondriacs care that they are ill. Does it count if I think I have leprosy, but don't really care that much?

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