Tuesday, July 27, 2004

May I? Yes, please.

I just thought this wildly funny.

*** So it's shopping once again for me. Shopping could quite honestly be my least favorite thing to do. I love shopping for the holidays and I love shopping for cooking, but I hate clothes shopping for a special event like this. It is quite maddening. I'm all of a sudden six years old again, pitching fits in the middle of a department store because "mom" is making me try on something else that I don't want to try on. Alejandra is coming with me this time. She has to. If I don't bring someone along to supervise dress shopping, I will come home with one (or two, or three) of six items:

1. ribbed stretch tank tops in assorted colors
2. flip flops (usually with a wedge heel)
3. some sort of comfortable stretch pant or pajama pants with a funky pattern on them
4. socks with monkeys on them
5. jeans that I found for $14.99 that I just couldn't resist
6. CD's or books

The point is, if going dress shopping without supervision, I will not come home with a dress. I'm such a child.

The registration on the Foci is expired. I need a secretary. I hate paperwork and I never get around to doing things like this. Bah. Registering the car! Who needs it?! I can't be bothered with such mundane tasks as this! I have a Gubernatorial campaign to win!!
I just drove all the way across Jersey City to get to the DMV to actually do this horrid thing, this registering of the Foci. It's pouring rain and it took me 10 minutes to find parking. I finally arrived at 438 Summit Avenue at 4:45 PM only to find that they had closed at 4:30 PM. I could only laugh.
A man stood out front smoking a cigarette. I could see him staring at me from the corner of my eye (where exactly is the corner of one's eye??)

"What are you looking for young lady?"


I don't know. A pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? A free in-home physical trainer? A pair of jeans that fit right? An allergy medication that will actually kill these hives? whiter teeth in just 14 days without using Crest white strips? toenail polish that does not chip? A new Governor? A reason for why I look like a monchichi (no, Alejandra, I am NOT a monchichi)?

"I'm just checking the hours of the DMV. I'll come back tomorrow morning."

He turned to stare as I walked away, his eyes boring the proverbial holes into my back. Creepy man. Go away, weirdo.

Alejandra is going to kill me. I'm wearing my Joe Mamma t-shirt and I did it on purpose just because she hates it.

"Moe! You know you could be HOT if you didn't dress like Pinocchio all the time!"
Oh Nanda, I don't want to be hot. I just want to be loved for who I am!
I'm so cantankerous!

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